I'm SOOOO over Blogger

I am officially a WordPress resident. If you have subscribed to this blog please make sure you change the link so that you don't miss any of my fabulous tales. There is plenty of stalking room over at the WordPress blog!

My new home is:

http://thequeenofdrama.wordpress.com



I won't be updating this site anymore. All of my content is over at the new WordPress site and I'm staying. It is just too cool for words.

My template is boring over there, and I hate leaving this one but it has to be done. I'm trying to get a hold of the designer to see what she can do to help me. But for now, I kind of like the simple look over here http://thequeenofdrama.wordpress.com

So, please, make note of the new URL and come see me at my new home! I do accept housewarming gifts graciously, too. I mean geez, it's like I have moved from a trailer to a colonial-style house! That is reason to celebrate and shower me with gifts!

I'm moving...

...to WordPress.

Hopefully.

My blog is up and ready to go over there and all of my posts and, I assume, all of the comments were imported yesterday. Go here.

Now, if you are a WordPress genius then help me. Please. I need a new template. I'm soooo not sticking with the generic one I have now. I would like to take some elements of this one over to WP but I do not know CSS and I would like it redesigned a bit. I have been playing with WP for a couple of days now but I'm not sure I know all there is to know yet.

If you have a moment of free time and would be willing to assist me I would be forever greatful!

My email is angelh28 (at) sbcglobal (dot) com. (he he, that is the first time I ever got to do that). My new blog link is http (colon backslash backslash) thequeenofdrama (dot) wordpress (dot) come. (Why not take it a step further, eh?)

This site will still be updated and running until the switch is complete.

Some of the questions answered...*Final Update!*

Karly of Wiping Up Snot asks:

1. Whats your favorite sex position?
Bow wow chicka bow wow.... get it? I like it doggie-style. LOVE IT!

2. Do you poop with the door open?
Yep, if I'm home alone. Why the hell wouldn't I?

3. Do you agree that Scrubs is the best TV show in the entire world?
Oh. Muh. Gawd. YES!!! It is the best comedy show EVER. I revel in the ingeniousness of the writing and format every time I watch it.

Bill of Radioactive Jam asks:

Two trains are traveling in opposite directions along a single track. The first train, filled with space aliens who look amazingly like little bagels with arms and legs, is moving eastward at 80 miles per hour. The second train is westbound, going 60 miles an hour, and filled with radioactive monkeys.
If the trains were 120 miles apart when they started, how much time will pass before the monkeys are treated to a flying bagel breakfast?
Well, Bill, first of all, I totally do not believe in radioactive monkeys. Bagels with arms and legs, however, are completely logical. Secondly, they are never going to meet. Ever. Unless, of course, the train track circumvents the entire planet and meets at the other side. If that is the case, then consider the tracks being at the equator where the circumference is 24,901 miles. If one train is traveling at 80mph and 120 miles in the opposite direction of the other train and the other train is traveling at 60mph then the two trains would meet somewhere on the other side of the damn world after at least 174 hours of traveling each. After all the math I just did, my brain is fried and probably rendered totally useless for at least the next 72 hours. Thanks.

And finally, for now, Anonymous asks:

1. If the plural of goose is geese, why isn't the plural of moose meese?
Excellent question even though you might have mistaken me for a grammar tutorial of which I am not. However, considering I am a lover of all things moose, meese IS the plural, in my world. And it should be universal.

Keep the questions coming... they are pretty fun!


******Update: New questions added...

I have another question from Anonymous... Gawsh, he/she is so nice!! Just awesome. Their blog is so easy to read and keep up with... and he/she is so gorgeous too! I'm just sayin'.

So they asked "Do I ever wish I was single and without kids?"
If I knew then, what I know now, I would have never given birth.

Alright, alright... that was the DraMa Blogger response.

Mama Angel's response is a bit different... OMG! NO! NEVER! I LOVE MY KIDS! I WOULD DIE FOR MY KIDS! MY LIFE IS SO FULL OF FUCKING ROSES AND TEDDY BEARS THAT I HAVE A PERMA GRIN EAR TO EAR 24/7!!!! I shit Crayola colors and breathe in the smell of lavender and baby powder every day! My kids are perfect and are as sweet as the gummy fruit snacks that they eat!

Now, since I AM both of those people, DraMa and Angel.... I will say this. Honestly, no, I never wish that I was single without kids. This doesn't mean that I don't sometimes miss my freedom. I mean, being able to just jump in the car whenever I want to go meet friends or go out to dinner is something that does not happen, anymore. But, my kids are the reason I exist. My life has a real purpose now. Instead of just existing to work, pay bills, party and date, now my purpose is to raise proper boys, teach them to be good men and good husbands, take care of my own husband, pay BIGGER bills and break up boy fights and clean up food from the floor after every meal. And, in doing all of that, I never EVER wish that I didn't have my family. They are why I breathe.

Lindsay, sweet, hawt and awesome Lindsay of Suburban Turmoil asked:

Do you think the person we saw at the airport was actually Mirna from The Amazing Race All-Stars?
Well, first let us examine the little people of this world. Since there are only 5 of them in existence; Amy, Matt and Zach Roloff of "Little People Big World", Mirna from the Amazing Race and that freakish little guy with the beard that pops up on television shows every week whenever the script calls for a midget little person. So, by using our process of elimination skillz we can pretty much assume that the mystery midget you saw at the airport was NOT Matt or Zach Roloff, nor the freaky guy with the beard. That would mean you could have either seen Amy Roloff or Mirna. Since Amy Roloff is awesome and way better looking than Mirna and it is not possible to mistake her for the troll Mirna, then yes, I do believe you saw Mirna at Midway Airport last Thursday.

******Update: Final Questions

Lori of These are the Days asks:

If you were on death row, what would you request as your last meal?
Hmmm, great question! I love food. Chances are pretty good that the entire reason I was on death row was because I killed someone in the midst of extreme hunger, probably an hour or so between meals. Don't mess with mama when she's hungry. Everyone knows that rule around here. So, while I was praising myself forcommiserating my actions I would have visions of large, greasy New York-style pizza slices dancing in my head. Then they would be accompanied by chocolate pudding with cool whip on top. Then of course I would dream of lobster tail dripping with butter, garlic mashed potatoes and those tender, juicy beef medallions that I adore so much at that restaurant in the city. (pay no attention to that grumbling sound... it's just my tummy.) Since I love food, I mean literally and passionately love food I would probably ask for a little bit of everything for my last meal. I would need the pizza, the beef medallions, the lobster, the mashed taters, probably a nice bed of sauteed baby green beans in garlic and butter sauce and then, dessert. Oh the dessert. This is where simple is best. I would request the tiramisu from the Italian place behind my house. The whole thing instead of just a slice. Oh and of course I would request 2 bottles of a good Riesling. Excuse my while I go gnaw off my arm before answering the next questions.

What is your proudest moment in life or the thing you are most proud of? (besides the kiddo's - that one is a given!)
Wow, TOUGH question. Very tough. I don't have many things I'm proud, but rather the opposite. This is totally going to suck, but I honestly don't have an answer for that. My life was pretty mundane with very few accomplishments. I am only now in college and have a long way to go before graduating. God, I'm depressed just writing this answer! GAH!!

Sweet, sweet Terri of The Ruddell Times asks:

Once you finish your degree will you buy yourself something nice to commemorate the occasion or will you do or buy something nice for Augs for being so nice, helpful and wonderfully supportive during the time it took for you to finish you degree? :o)

Oh lawdy Terri, you are a sweetie. Honestly, I don't see me doing anything for myself, nor him. How's that? That is a long long way off anyway. However, a great way to celebrate would be taking a solo vacation without the kids. He and I could take off to some tropical paradise and relax in the sand for a week, or seven. That is how I would MUCH prefer to celebrate a college graduation.

Alrighty, that's it. Q and A is closed. Don't cry. I'm a little sad too. I was hoping to get more questions, but maybe I'll revisit this later on. Thanks for all the questions from everyone though! They really are fun to answer. You should all do this on your blogs too!

DOH! One last submission! Ok..

Jamie asks:

Do you think you are a good friend?
Helluva question chica. Okay DEEEEEEP breathe...here goes.
Honestly, no I don't. I could be A LOT better. Life is hard and sometimes I can't always be the friend that I want to be. I do try to be a good friend but fail miserably at times. So, I wish I were a better friend more so than I think I am a good one. I put my heart out there a lot and sometimes try too hard and sacrifice others in the meantime. That isn't always good. I have always had a difficult time balancing loyalty to friends and loyalty to family. I guess this question would be better directed at my own friends... but I'm skeered to hear their answers, so lets just keep it on the down low. Pretend with me... "Angel is the best in the whole world!"

Is this immoral?

I am totally ripping off a fellow blogger. I just read her blog and loved the idea she came up with. So, what better way to show her love than to steal her idea and make it my very own. It's not stealing. It's a sign of respect and commradery. In my world it is, anyway.

And, if you don't believe that, try this one on for size. This is NOT a ploy to get comments! Really! It's not!

I swear it isn't!

I just really like the idea and think it's cool... seriously. And it's a way for any readers I have to ask me any questions that have been burning a hole in their souls all this time.

So, I now present to you, the completely unoriginal, ripped off idea from Blonde Chick -

Ask DraMa Anything!

You, my adoring readers (ya'll are awesome, you know that right?), now have the chance to ask me anything your heart desires. I will answer any and every question thrown at me. Your questions along with my blatant lies answers will be posted on this blog and a link to your site will be provided.

Go ahead. Shoot. Whudduhyawannaknow?

Oh and bonus points for creativity.

The Underworld of Toddlers - What THEY don't tell you

If you are thinking of having children, or on the verge of giving birth, you might want to take note of this post. Consider this my way of preparing you for the real world of children.

Your baby showers will be filled with giddy women, exuberant and unwanted belly rubs, silly games, cute little booties and maybe even a giant stuffed teddy bear. Regardless, of what elements you have at your showers, it's all a big giant lie. All of it. The cute, jovial and head in the clouds feeling lasts for 24-36 hours after you give birth. Once you leave the hospital, the "It's a Boy/Girl" flowers die, the balloons deflate and you look down at the sagging remnants of your belly, the uber-sweet elation dies.

Replacing the feelings of elation are breastfeeding woes and feeling like someone is sucking needles out of your nipples. This will cause you to become more familiar with your nippular region than you ever wanted. Then, of course, there is that black tar-looking newborn poop that you have never seen the likes of before and, if unprepared, could cause serious chest pains. Soon that stuff is replaced with nasty runny orange poop and you will actually sigh in relief. Then there are the newborn screams that rattle your nerves and cause feelings of confusion and then you might call yourself a horrible mother and at some point exclaim "THIS BABY HATES ME!". Then, everyone tells you "It's just gas" and you dream of dismembering their bodies and storing them in your chest freezer.

These are all things they don't tell you in BABY101 class. It is a conspiracy to keep it from the parents-to-be because they just might reconsider having kids. Then, who would buy all the pink booties, and blue baby bonnets? Hmmm? Exactly. Only the freaks with odd fetishes.

So, now that I have enlightened you on the first month of rearing a child, allow me to go into further detail and take you into the toddler years. And know this, babies, ages 0-12 months (depending on when they start walking), are MUCH EASIER THAN TODDLERS! Trust me.

And now for my,

Toddler Years, A Pictorial Evolution of Sorts


You will end up buying more batteries in 2 months than you ever have in your entire life. My advice, keep a bunch on hand, in EVERY size, in an easily accessible drawer.



Diaper boxes will soon replace furniture, double as furniture and work great for storing old kids clothes that no longer fit them. If left unmonitored they could take over your home.



If you have a dog, check him daily for food stuck in the fur. If he has long hair this might be a lengthy process. My advice is to either buy a short-haired dog, shave the dog or don't own a dog.



Doorways will no longer be free passages from one room to another. Instead they will become nothing more than toll gates in your own home. You will trip over them. You will bruise your shins repeatedly on them and you will loathe them, soon after installation.



Your guest room will turn into this.



You will need to keep these tools at the ready at ALL TIMES! My advice is to keep a full range of screwdrivers in every room. Blame it on the thousands of children's toys you'll have in your home.



These....



...will soon be replaced with these.



Potty training for boys. Enough said.

I will leave you with these thoughts.

HTPH 101 - 10 steps on how to piss of your husband.

The following is a paid advertisement for the revolutionary HTPH101 program! This program promises to perfect any marriage in as little as one minute!

•Are you and your husband perfect?

•Do you find yourselves sitting alone at night cuddling instead of bickering?

•Do your friends find you boring because all you do is kiss and laugh together?

Well, then this program is for you! HTPH101 will ensure that your marriage is transformed from disgustingly happy to completely, 100% normal within minutes! Why waste money on expensive vacations and extravagant gifts for one another! HTPH101 is the wave of tomorrow. Order now, supplies are limited!

Here's How the 10-step Process Works

Step 1 - Answer the phone when he calls.

Step 2 - Listen to him rant about how your son broke the door on his truck and now it won't shut.

Step 3 - Ask him where he is.

Step 4 - Say "I'll be right out" when he responds "in the driveway!"

Step 5 - Go outside and pry your husband's angry, screw-driver wielding hand from the door.

Step 6 - Quickly assess door and the panel and find the lever causing the door to not shut.

Step 7 - Run around to the other side of the truck to assess that door panel and see where the lever should be.

Step 8 - Discover the problem and the solution. Say, AH-HA! quietly.

Step 9 - Run back around to the broken door, lift the door handle while simultaneously pushing the lever back into place.

Step 10 - Shut door and watch it close properly. (Continue with step 11 only if necessary.)

Step 11* - Run away quickly.

If you follow these 10 steps correctly the result will be that your husband glares at you with discontent while hiding a sigh of a relief that his door is fixed, and he might even utter the words "you suck". The screw driver he was holding will promptly be thrown into the garage. Husband will drive away yelling "I don't need you... I don't!" and you will finally win the respect of friends and family and no longer make others puke at the sight of you as a couple.

*Not applicable in all areas or for all relationships. If step 11 is needed, caution is advised.

Results may very depending on the individual.

Money back guarantee if not fully satisfied.

Why my children hate me.

I have a bad back. This is a result of one car accident, one skiing accident and two big falls from a horse. It does not take much to injure my back. Generally, it is not the obvious things that cause me to hurt my back like moving furniture or lifting heavy boxes but rather the sneaky, less likely causes such as turning my head or giving someone the finger.

Today is one of those days where the pain comes out of nowhere and incapacitates me for a spell. Today, I stood up. That is what did it. That is what I get for sitting at my computer checking emails and then getting up to go check on my children. That'll teach me to be a semi-attentive mother!

So, case in point number one. The children made me stand up. It's their fault.

Case in point number two. As I'm laying on the couch, in pain and somewhat immobile, Monster is beating me in the head with a rubber duck and saying "oink oink". (note to self, teach Monster AGAIN that ducks quack, not oink).

Case in point number three. As I confiscate the duck from Monster and contemplate throwing the rubber fuck, ehem, I mean duck, into the oven, I begin dialing my chiropractor. This is when he begins using his head as a deadly weapon by slamming it into my torso -(read, my ribs, boobs and tummy flab) and then laughing. Have you ladies ever been laying on your back, braless, and felt an 8lb skull slam into your unprotected boob dead on? Well, I have. So, I close my eyes in pain and try to protect myself like a nerdy boy in his 8th grade locker room while still trying to hold the phone.

Case in point number four. As I am speaking to the receptionist, I begin grunting and moaning from pain and from a 33lb child yclimbing onto me so he can sit on me and watch t.v. He needs to sit on me because apparently the leather sofa is too cold on his bare ass. (Remember, we are potty training. No pants work for him better than pull-ups or underwear.)

Case in point number five. Monster then climbs onto my helpless body knowing my defenses are in a weakened state and proceeds to stand on my abdomen and pelvic area. He is 27lbs but feels more like 30. I'm not exactly a conglomeration of muscle tone and definition so this is painful for me. I know for a fact that I muttered the words "You guys suck" at one point.

Case in point number six. I begin feeling some relief after icing my back, then replacing the ice with heat and taking a 800mg Ibuprofen. I make my way off the couch to get Monster some more juice because apparently the 32oz combination of water and apple juice he has already had in the last 2 hours isn't enough and he needs more. (This child is going to be a beer-bong champ in college. Watch.) Anyway, as I'm pouring his drink I hear cries of help coming from the living room. I walk in to find that DramaBoy has completely wedged his entire body, head to toe, between the couch and the wall. This space is about 6-8 inches wide. Now, with the severe but somewhat lessened pain in my back, I have to try and pull a toddler out of a small hole. He won't budge. This means I have to move the couch. Sweet. That's going to feel just dandy. I move it with minimal pain and free the boy.

My pain is lessening as I type, the boys are playing nicely for now and if I didn't have so much work to do for school I would be taking a nap with them in an hour to sleep off the rest of the pain.

And that is why my children hate me.